The different types of love for different people

The different types of love for different people

When learning about the different forms of love in Greek, they may overlap in different ways. For example, you may experience both pragma and philia for your partner. Or you may feel storge for your grandmother and the best friend you've known since you were young. Below are the eight types of love and how you can practice them.

Ludus (playful love)

Often present in the early stages of a relationship, playful love, Ludus, is a non-serious type of love. It's often marked by the butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling you might get when you first feel affection for a new romantic partner or a crush. 

Ludus isn't often associated with a commitment but with a flirtatious, fun type of love. Playful love can turn into a more devoted form of love over time. 

If you have a new romantic interest, expressing ludus by flirting can create a low-stakes level of intimacy that you may be able to build upon.

Eros (romantic love)

Named for the Greek god of love, eros is a passionate, sexual, romantic form of love. It's often characterized by physical touch and powerful attraction and is mentioned in so many songs about love. The Greeks felt that the passion and desire that came about due to eros was dangerous, yet it's often a form of love that people seek. 

As humans, we may crave a relationship with enduring love, but also one that is full of romance and sexual attraction. Eros may be a component of a sexual or lust-driven connection or romantic love. However, it may also be considered passion. If your relationship with your partner seems to need a spark, consider whether passionate love may be lacking.

Pragma (practical love)

Also called enduring love, pragma is characterized by commitment and is often present in long-term romantic relationships. Pragma is considered by many the ideal form of love between romantic partners. 

You may experience pragma in a partnership with mutual support and trust. With pragma, while you may experience ludus and eros with your significant other, your relationship may not be primarily characterized by those expressions of love anymore. You might feel a deeper and more meaningful connection or desire long-term commitment. 

Storge (familial love)

Imagine the bond you have with your children, parents, siblings, or chosen family. Storge can be described as the innate love you experience in relationships with those you consider part of "your group."  

Storge is a familiar form of love that's often instinctual. It may be seen in a powerful connection a parent feels for their children as soon as they're born, between individuals in the family, or the intimate bond best friends have. 

When you experience familiar love, storge, you may feel a strong desire to care for the other person. A reliable support system based around storge love could be a vital aspect of your life. Studies show that deep social connections with your community can improve health. Storge may be one type of love that allows you to experience this connection. 

Philia (brotherly love)

Also called affectionate love, philia is often marked by deep feelings between friends or family. Philia is a platonic love that may feel as intimate as the love felt in a romantic relationship. It was considered by the Greeks to be a deep form of love because it related to people who felt that they were, in all ways, equals. 

You may feel philia love for a best friend with whom you had in your life for years. You can develop and nurture such deep friendships by ensuring that mutual respect, admiration, and affection are present.

Philautia (self-love)

Referring to the love you give to yourself, philautia or self-love can be an essential practice for mental health and developing self-worth. Self-love can mean maintaining a positive self-image, caring for your mental and physical health, and fostering happiness.

The Greeks differentiated between philautia, which they considered healthy self-love or self-compassion, and narcissism, which can be thought of as a love of oneself to the exclusion of others. 

Philautia may cause healthy positivity about yourself and offer love and affection to yourself in the same way you would to someone else. You might choose to practice self-love by creating a self-care routine, tending to your mental health, or indulging in activities you enjoy.

Mania (obsessive love)

Considered an unhealthy type of love, mania may be characterized by jealousy, obsession, or possessiveness. Obsessive love, mania, may be present when one romantic partner is more attached than the other or if a couple develops a co-dependent relationship. Mania love is not to be confused with the symptoms of mania often experienced in bipolar disorder. 

With this type of love, you may notice that you act differently when you're afraid of losing someone. Mania can come from a place of low self-esteem or other individual concerns, or it could mean that a healthy form of love is missing. 

If you realize that there are toxic elements or potentially unhealthy expressions of love in certain relationships, consider whether you could benefit from practicing self-love (philautia) or practical love (pragma).

A man with curly brown hair, a beard, and a yellow-green t-shirt lies in bed and hugs his dog.

Agape (unconditional love)

Agape love, often called unconditional love, compassionate love, or selfless love, may feel difficult to achieve. Agape is considered a type of everlasting love in which you care for another person without the expectation of reciprocation, even in hard times. It can be a selfless and altruistic form of love that is often referred to as universal love because it can apply to everyone and everything. You may choose to express agape love by volunteering or practicing random acts of kindness to others, even strangers.