1. As a society, we are focusing too much on weddings than on marriage. Don’t be big on ceremonies but short on substance.
2. As a society, we love to gossip and talk more about the drama of messed up marriages and celebrate little of the marriages that are thriving. When we pay more attention to negativity, negativity becomes the norm.
3. A lot of us grew up in broken homes and so we don’t know how to build a home. We were incubated in an environment of drunkenness, fear, abandonment, fights and abuse. Unlearn this.
4. A lot of us go through a messy dating scene before marriage, entering into marriage with pain. Heal from your past.
5. The boy-child who was neglected or taught that a man’s worth is the money he makes, grows up to marry a girl-child who in addition to making her own money, has emotional, professional and mental power leading to a clash of genders especially when the man feels insecure and the woman becomes argumentative. We have to learn better gender relations.
6. The cheapening of the beauty of sex. Sexual pleasure has become so easy to get and easy to explore that its beauty in marriage has been watered down leading to heightened infidelity and heart breaks. Restore the beauty and sacredness of love-making.
7. Weak foundations because dating, courtship and pre-marital preparations are shallow. If you want a marriage that lasts a lifetime, build a strong foundation before you start it.
8. Lots of people are getting married without knowing themselves or loving themselves, getting further lost in marriage. When two lost people marry each other, chaos happens. Know yourself before you marry.
9. People are getting married for the wrong motives. If you marry someone because of sex, sex alone will not hold the marriage, it will get boring. If you marry someone because of money, you will leave them once you have your own wealth. If you marry someone for social status, you will treat them better in public than in private for a show. Marry for love, companionship and purpose.
10. There are a lot of voices and marital advice especially from bitter people leading to confusion and bad choices. Be careful who you listen to.
11. We live in a culture of impatience and easy quitting. In this generation of instant things and quick gratification, a lot of people struggle with being patient and tolerant which are qualities required for a successful marriage. Don’t be a quitter, think long-term.
12. We celebrate individualism and independence, we brag about being self-made and being self-sufficient making it difficult to trust someone or need someone. This brings a lot of individualism, selfishness and holding back in marriage. Allow yourself to be loved.
13. Abandonment of Godly values. The irony is a lot of people want Godly families but they don’t involve God in their marriage. We struggle to submit to God as individuals, hence struggle to do so as a couple. If you want the blessings of God, walk in the ways of God.
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