If you were dumped, I recommend saying what you have to say at the beginning with grace. Say that you're hurt, say thank you for the good times, and say what you need to say. Then don't say anything at all.
It is no longer your job (or in your interest) to contact him. He knows what you had to say, and of course, you may have had a lot more to say, but keep it to yourself.
Same goes for the men out there: it is not a good idea to continue to contact her. Leave her alone and work on dealing with your emotions.
Journal it, talk to friends, talk to a counselor, watch YouTube self-help videos on broken hearts. There are also plenty of articles that contain helpful information about how to work through and deal with your emotions.
But your ex, if they left you, isn't going to be your best confidant on matters of love right now. They need to take care of their own crap, and if you keep talking, you'll just reassure them that it wasn't a good relationship. So let them go. It's a win-win situation: either you just lost someone who isn't right for you, or they'll come back and prove their worth.
What you need to focus on right now is building up a strong sense of self-love. Nourish and protect your heart and what you really feel. Don't judge yourself for the emotions that rise to the top, instead listen to what your heart is saying. I think it is an excellent idea to take some time for yourself right now, get back to your hobbies, see your friends, and make time for your own private thoughts.
How Do You Respond When Your Ex Returns?
Be classy and kind. If you believe it is in your best interest to no longer talk to them, then do just that. Lock your doors, don't meet them in person, and move on with your life. If you feel that they could be a threat to your safety, physically or emotionally—you don't have to entertain them, just tell them to go away. You don't have to entertain any messages that come to you or make any efforts at reconciliation. If you want to spend your time focusing on other efforts, then do so.
But if you feel like you want to see what's there, don't jump to conclusions. People return to their exes for a number of reasons including:
- Sex
- Guilt
- Looking to get money; they are broke
- To apologize and have you as a friend
- They want to give love another try
- They miss the heck out of you and just want to see where you are in life... and leave things on a better note
- They want to see if they can manipulate you again and again and again...
- Their life fell apart, and you are the last resort to them getting better
- They want your brother's/sister's phone number
Don't immediately jump to the conclusion that they are there to win your heart and get back with you. Listen to them. Be wise. Be considerate. Be as respectful to the person as you would like to be treated. Encourage them to speak, give them a cup of tea or coffee, be a positive experience for them first. When you feel comfortable with why they are approaching you, when you feel they've given you enough information, then you can decide where to go next.
Most likely they'll return to you first through texting or other social media. Whatever they say to you, make your response short but friendly. Let them know you're not going to wring their neck or cut off all the buttons on their nice shirts. It took a lot out of them to build up enough courage to reach out to you, writing a text, of course, is easy—but swallowing your pride and committing to opening up communication is a lot to risk.
So tread lightly. Be positive, not negative. Keep your interactions healthy. Don't delve deeply into the past to figure out what happened; you should have done that by yourself and figured out what you needed to during the breakup. If you're asking them questions about the past, you are telling them essentially to go away, and that you don't believe in reconciliation.
Keep things really light. Go out for coffee, not a symphony and steak. Don't bring them around all your friends and family, keep it private. Keep it friendly. You got this. You are strong, and you have already survived a breakup with them, so know it's going to be okay.
Signs Your Ex Will Never Come Back
While we may want to believe that our ex will return one day, that is not always the case, and no amount of wishful or positive thinking will change that fact.
If your ex does any of these things, the chances of them returning to you are slim to none.
- They cease all contact with you: no returning texts or calls.
- They block you from all social media. This is a big step that indicates they want nothing to do with you.
- They start seriously dating someone else.
- They slander you on social media, and they talk ill of you to their friends, and they go on about how you ruined their life.
- You had a particularly messy breakup where they cheated on you; there is no real way to forgive such an action.
Staying Strong
Breaking up with someone is a difficult thing to experience, so no matter what happens, try to stay strong and stay positive. If your ex ends up coming back to you great, if not that's great too, you can't get hung up on those outcomes. Try to keep up a positive mental attitude and move on with your life. There is more to life than being in a relationship, always keep that in mind.
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